Huh??? What happened? What HAPPENED!!!!! Where is everybody?? Oh, okay... I see you over there. Hmmm. I’m guess I’m just a little confused. Is everything REALLY okay? Your sure? You don’t work for the government do you? Let me see your hands.... Yeah, okay. Boy is this WEIRD OR WHAT?
Uh, I guess I better explain.Let’s see. Like many of you, I studied Y2K like a zealot. I read thousands upon thousands of post, bought hundreds of books and researched the issue into exhaustion. Convinced that this was IT, I got myself ready.
I quit my day job, sold my house, cashed out my retirement plan, stock options, investment portfolio and anything else I could liquidate including my wife and sunk every cent I had into preps. And boy or boy, was I prepped!
Now go back to December 28th, 1999. About 9:00 am in the morning, I went down into my command bunker and bolted the steel door shut, turned on the self circulating air system (solar powered at this time of day with remote panels hidden high in the tops of the trees) and busied myself for several hours arranging things and checking the status boards of my preps.
As an electrical engineer, I had installed the best systems I could devise. I could check on the gallons per minute being used by the diesel generator to the temperature of my underground compost pile from any one of a dozen status boards. All systems good to go.
I chose to make my departure from the world on the 28th because I had read on the Time Bomb forum that martial law was going to be declared on this day. You’d think that I’d have gone underground a day earlier as a precaution, but I didn’t see the need for that, considering how far out I lived in the boonies and besides, I had already dug an 1200' escape tunnel underneath my bedroom floor to the bushes directly in front of my bunker. If anything happened or any blue helmets came up the road, I’d be down that tunnel like a rabbit in it’s hole. After months of strenuous training, I could cover the entire distance in 37 seconds buck naked, enter my bunker and bolt the door (3 seconds), activate the alarms and arm the perimeter defense systems (5 seconds) and be totally ready for anything in 45 seconds flat.
Fortunately I didn’t need the tunnel this time, but it was always reassuring to me to know that it was there IF I had ever needed it. Besides, one day, God willing, I might be able to convert into a holding bin for my underground compost pile, should I ever need it. If you’ve never tried this, you’d be surprised at the size of the earthworms you could grow in one of these things. They are very high in protein too.
The tunnel was kind of a capstone to my preparations. I mean, I had EVERYTHING to start civilization all over again. I had even figured out a way to recycle toilet paper and extract water from urine if necessary. Man, I was ready as a guy could be.
Somewhere around lunchtime (I forget exactly when, but my biological clock said it was time to eat) I fixed myself an MRE lunch (lamb curry and rice, a survival tab, and purified water) and switched on the shortwave radio. Sounded like everything in the outside world was still churning along, nothing happened yet. No bombs, no invasions, no aliens on the White House lawn, nada. Still, I wasn’t discouraged, we hadn’t gotten to the Big Day yet.
I figured I could wait years if I had to. But the big day wasn’t that far off and my state of excitement was heightened by the lateness of the hour.
My bunker is kind of an interesting place. I can probably survive down there for two years. I was fortunate to tap directly into a spring and with a little creativity and ingenuity I was able to pipe the flow into and out of the bunker, ensuring a supply of fresh water for cooking, drinking, flushing, bathing, etc. The only problem with this setup was that I had to get used to cold water all the time, since I couldn’t afford to spare the fuel necessary to heat water.
I solved this, at least partially, by investing in a huge number of MRE heaters. I could heat a pint of water to a lukewarm temperature with one heater. That was just enough for a quick sponge bath.
I’d already grown used to the cramped spaces and climbing over buckets, boxes, ammo cans and beans. I spent a entire month down here last summer, just to see if I could take it. No problem, even the internal compost pile I’d designed worked great and must have weighed a couple of hundred pounds already. I figured that once I crawled out above ground again, the soil would be useless for gardening due to the radiation, chemtrails, and alien turds that were bound to kill the soil beyond all usefulness. My compost pile was my answer to that problem. That and the earthworms.
I quickly checked my external radiation meters (just in case the Communist News Network was lying again) and wrote down the ambient radiation. Same as last week, no change. I made an entry into my personal diary for the future “Survivors Time Capsule” to record this historic moment.
Confident that the coast was clear, I settled down with my favorite book, “TEOTWAWKI”. This dog eared autographed copy by Art and Gary was well read, but I figured what the hell, I’ll read it again. Maybe, just maybe I’ll glean another nugget of knowledge from the hallowed pages.
About Chapter three, my perimeter alarm went off. INTRUDER ALERT!!! I jumped up and hit my head upon the steel reinforced ceiling. Rubbing my head, I checked the green board for the alarm system and saw that a seismic trip had been detected on my northeastern quadrant, about 400 yards out.
I reached for my scoped H&K 91 and flipped off the safety. It was already loaded, as was the other 231 rifles, pistols and shotguns and grenade launchers I had strategically placed around the bunker and buried outside.
My next move was to extend the salvaged nuclear submarine periscope from the roof of the bunker. I obtained this from a Communist defector who offered to sell me the device after defecting to the United States with a Topov Class submarine. It wasn’t cheap, nor was it easy to install, but wow! You could count the hairs on a deer hunters butt from 1200 yards away while still underground!
It was always my hope to mount an external Browning .50 to the ‘scope as an additional line of defense, but I really didn’t have an extra .50 to spare, the 14 I had were barely enough. I forwent this option in favor of strategically placed cluster bombs (a vast improvement over personnel mines). I could detonate these from almost anywhere in or out of the bunker through a complicated wiring scheme I had designed. Any one bomb could decimate any living or standing thing for a 200 yard perimeter. I had 36 of these, and I hoped they’d be enough. Otherwise, I have to resort to more conventional weapons. The defector had offered me a suitcase nuke, but neither could I afford it nor figure out how it would really improve my situation if I had to use it. After all, I hoped to come out of my bunker sometime and entering ground zero for a 5 megaton blast didn’t sound too good to me.
Swiveling the ‘scope around, I couldn’t find the intruder in the northeastern quadrant. I carefully searched and searched, but there was nothing to be found. Suspicious now, I examined the green board. Everything seemed to be alright. I reset the remote alarm and waited a bit to see if the thing would go off again. It didn’t, so I returned to my book.
I like the part best where Gary is saying, “It’s over folks. It’s too late, nothing can be done. Y2K cannot be fixed. Can you spell TEOTWAWKI?” Just the sound of that word makes the blood rush in my veins. teo-twa-awki. What a sound! In this chapter, Gary depicts a devastating scenario where millions die due to starvation, disease and plage. Not me, I was all set and ready.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. I tried the ‘scope a few times, even activating the remote night vision once it got dark. Like me, the television showed the world getting ready for their Big Day too. I noticed with a smirk that many of the year-end celebrations had been canceled due to a lack of interest. Even the sheeple sometimes got it. Too late you turds!!!
The rest of the week, was much the same. Reading, cooking, arranging boxes, camo nets and kevlar vests, donating to the compost pile and listening to the news. I checked all my combat knives for sharpness by shaving with each one. I only nicked myself once, but I was prepared for that too, with a full troop medical kit I had assembled to help any survivors I might find once I came out of the bunker. I considered trying some cat gut sutures just for the experience, but thought it better to save the supplies for a real emergency.
I wasn’t bored. I had quite a lot to do making sure that all was truly ready. Always a loner, I had opted to do this entire thing by myself. The FBI had already infiltrated every known militia and patriotic group in the nation and I wasn’t about to let myself get too chummy with any of these agent provocateurs. Better go it alone.
Finally, the eve of the Big Day came. I figured I could celebrate just little, so I popped the top on a Bud from my stash of 240 cases in the back storage area. I’m not much of drinker, but you never know how much a cool one might be worth in the coming world. I figured a six pack might be worth 5 acres or so after meltdown. Gold would be at least $40,000 an ounce. I had planned for this too, by special ordering 100 ounces minted in 1/100th ounce coins from the McAlvany Mint. Those guys had given me a great deal.
I toasted the old world goodbye. The mood of the hour and the alcohol made me feel a little remorseful. Those poor bastards! They were clueless! They had no idea of the impending destruction of their plastic society! They had placed all their faith in the system, a system based on ones and zeros and little bits of silicon! If they only knew! They’d stop their celebration and scream in utter terror at their coming destruction!
I had all my monitoring systems turned on. Television, shortwave, ham, Internet, even the pirate switched Galaxy 5 satellite monitoring station I had paid handsomely for. Short of NORAD, I figured I had about the same world wide listening capabilities as anybody could reasonably expect to have.
The moments came as the new millennium dawned across the world, time zone by time zone. I watched as Tonga, New Zealand, Australia, China, Russia, Indonesia and Asia entered the new age. I kept an eye on my green boards and checked the status of each monitoring system, expecting to hear reports of cascading failure, collapsing systems and panic in the streets.
At first, there was nothing. Just revelry and celebration. No failures, no backed up toilets, just nothing. Suspecting a media blackout, I settled down to wait. I popped another Bud and sucked half of it down. Still nothing. Nada. The revelers reveled and the leaders prostrated themselves before the people, but the systems stayed up. Or so they said. The lights were on and the party continued.
I drank another Bud, getting a bit woozy now (I rarely drink). Time zone by time zone, the millennium came and the bug didn’t bite. Suddenly, I remembered. Ah ha! The embeds are going to take a little time for the effects to be noticed. I was sure as the sun would shine that this would only be a matter time, minutes perhaps, maybe even hours or even an entire day, but the embeds would start showing their inherent flaws and weaknesses any moment now and upon their collapse, death, destruction and chaos would ensue.
Smug in my knowledge, I downed my fourth Bud (what the hell, I could afford to splurge a little). I got up from my camp cot and stumbled for the composting privy. At this point, things are a little fuzzy, but I think I must have stepped on my copy of TEOTWAWKI, which skidded across the smooth floor, causing me to loose my balance. I must have hit my head on the edge of the cast iron stove. I blacked out for the rest of the night, because I woke up with an incredible headache the next day.
I struggled up from the floor and checked my monitoring systems. All systems were down. Nothing worked. I couldn’t raise any radio stations, television, shortwave, Internet or the Galaxy 5. They were either dead or suffering the effects of EMP.
I checked the remote radiation detectors and even these were down. The only thing that seemed to work okay was the ‘scope, which I very, very carefully extended above ground level and surveyed the outside of world.
Shit!! It was dark outside!! The world must have been totally blown up and plunged the world into darkness! I bet those commie Russians did this! Bastards!!!
Ignoring my pounding head, I reached for the potassium iodide pills instead. I swallowed four for good measure and then on second thought, I took two more, just in case. I didn’t know how long I’d been out and figured that I ought to cover my bases.
I was able to switch on the night vision to the ‘scope and scan the area more closely. I was right. The bastards had done it this time. The Russians took advantage of our moment of weakness and plunged us into a nuclear winter!!! There was even white ash falling from the sky. It was already a couple of inches deep and looked a lot like snow.
Except for the weird darkness and the piles of ash, everything else seemed to pretty normal. None of the trees had been blasted and I couldn’t detect any blast area at all. I figured the Russians must have used a neutron bomb, designed to kill every living thing and leave all the structures intact. The white ash must be the only remains of millions of humans.
Still, I was a bit confused. I mean, how could it all the systems be down?. I had built the systems to withstand multiple EMP’s, the entire bunker was a gigantic Faraday cage! I had laid over 14 tons of rebar in the outside structure! This thing was built to withstand anything!
From what I could see, the countryside hadn’t been struck with thermonuclear weapons. Must have been neutron bombs. Nor was their any troop activity evident. They probably hadn’t arrived yet, due to the obvious proximity of the bombs.
Confused, I got to work bandaging up my head. I had a huge knot on my forehead. I took 12 aspirin and covered the bruise with a special liniment made from willow bark and cow dung and pineapple slices.
I wasn’t hungry, so I skipped breakfast. The best I could tell, it was the morning of January 1, 2000. My atomic clock wasn’t functioning anymore, nor was my Casio Survivor Watch. They had both stopped.
The aspirin finally took hold and I got some more rest. When I woke up, I felt a little better. At least I’m alive I thought. Clearly, my preps weren’t wasted. I didn’t really expect this to happen, at least not so soon, but clearly, the worst possible outcome had occurred.
Needless to say, from the evidence I had gathered, the attack was quite sudden and unexpected by everyone, including me. I was very suspicious because all my monitoring systems were kaput. This meant that the entire world was now in darkness, with nuclear winter reversing millennium of human progress.
I brooded for a while over these developments and then got to work on trying to get at least one of my systems up and running.
Hours later, I gave up. I couldn’t seem to fix any of them. I had plenty of power and all the systems would turn on, but there was nothing but static. Even from the Internet connection, all I could get was static. Television was pure snow. Static from both radios and the Galaxy 5 system. I was cut off from the world and I had no idea what had happened.
It appeared that the entire world must have undergone a nuclear exchange of some sort. This was far worse then I had hoped for, but still, there was nothing I could do about it.
The truth is, I was prepared for this eventuality too, as unlikely as it seemed to me at the time. I had plenty of things to keep me occupied and entertained for weeks, months, even years of total solitude. I hadn’t really expected to be totally cut off and isolated from the outside world quite so soon, but no matter, I could cope.
I spent the next couple of days tending to myself, the bunker and reading, playing charades and polishing my weapons. I didn’t bother to try the ‘scope again until today, but now this doesn’t work either! Apparently, the falling ash has completely buried my only remaining contact to the world! Now I’m really cut off!
It is now Day Four. I had pretty much given up on all my monitoring systems, but figuring that just maybe somebody, somewhere managed to get something outside to work, I checked my favorite place first, the Internet. Incredibly, the connection is now working! With my heart pounding in my chest, I launched my browser and here I am!!!! Yes!!!!!
You can’t imagine my excitement! For some reason, I can’t seem to get anything to work properly, I can’t see any website or get any information at all! All I seem to be able to do is post this message!! Please help, I’m desperate for information! Somebody, somewhere, even if you’re a Communist Polly, tell me what happened!!!
So what happened? I’ve got a million questions!!! Did it all come crashing down first before the Russians attacked? Did the stock market crash? Any idea how many planes fell out of the sky? How many nuclear reactors blew up? What is the radiation level of the planet? Did the rapture happen? Are they rounding up dissidents for the concentration camps? Are there any dissidents left? Who’s the President? Did the terrorist take over the White House? Am I in Hell? Is it safe to come out? Are there any woman left? Are the computers now running the world? What’s the price of Gold?
January 04, 2000
I hope everything you have is in the stock market!!.
January 04, 2000.